3 essential ingredients of everlasting commitment

On the feast of the Presentation of the Lord, when my community members and I renewed our vows, I reflected on my own commitment. I found myself comparing it with the marriage commitment. The last few months have been big for the wedding industry, which has been "making up for lost time" with all the weddings delayed by the pandemic. From rich to poor, regardless of caste or creed, everyone loves to celebrate a wedding.

Certainly, in the springtime, when nature blooms and gives new birth, many promises are made and sealed. Many new families are formed and two become one. I, too, had a share in these events as I witnessed and participated in a wedding ceremony where vows were exchanged and promises sealed saying: Set me as a seal upon your heart; till death do us part. These promises inspired me to offer myself and renew my fidelity to the Lord and the church! 

I was moved by the homily given at the wedding and liked the three short stories I heard there. One was:

After a few years of married life, seated on the sofa, the husband was going through a document. His wife was surprised at his concentration, and asked him, "What's up?" He said it was nothing. His wife came closer and looked over his shoulder and whispered, "I know, it's our marriage certificate, and may I ask what you are looking for?" The husband, without a second thought, replied, "I am trying to locate the expiration date."

The second story:

A few years after their marriage. The husband and wife are at the breakfast table. The wife is sipping her coffee thoughtfully, and the husband has his head buried in the morning's newspaper. The wife suddenly blurts out, "I am thinking of leaving you." The man drops his newspaper, sits bolt upright and in an annoyed voice asks, "Why, what's wrong?" This wife says in a somewhat irritated tone of voice, "You never say you love me, that you care for me, and you never utter a word of appreciation for all that I do for you." The man replies somewhat coolly, "Look here, five years ago, on our wedding day, I told you at the altar, 'I do,' " and then he added, "If I ever change my mind, I will let you know." 

The third story was from the marriage of former President Ronald Reagan and former first lady Nancy Reagan: 

Nancy Reagan was once asked how she managed to stay in her marriage relationship with Ronald Reagan over so many years, when marriages around her and in their social circle were breaking down. Nancy said that she gave 60% and expected 40% from Ronald. When Ronald was asked the same questions, he said that he gave 60% and expected 40% from Nancy. Through their unity they could overcome all hurdles or struggles and problems. Because it was never "her" or "his" problem but "ours"!

These short stories speak of the ingredients of everlasting commitment — fidelity, appreciation and attention. The fact is that there is no expiration date on the marriage certificate, nor on the vows that we pronounce. The pronouncement of the vows is the defining moment.